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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813801">all my friends are heathens</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru'>CadetDru</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Arc of an Archangel [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adam Young Still Has Powers (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Crowley &amp; Anathema Device Friendship, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Gen, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), Lower Tadfield (Good Omens), falling doesn't necessarily change gender but sometimes it does, they/them pronouns for Raphael</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:00:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Who forgives demons?" Adam asked.</p><p>"Demons aren't…" Anathema said, stopping herself from telling the (former?) Antichrist that demons weren't real.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anathema Device &amp; Adam Young, Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale &amp; Raphael (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley &amp; Adam Young (Good Omens), Crowley &amp; Anathema Device</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Arc of an Archangel [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>79</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. take it slow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"The man in the dark glasses was a demon? Well, that makes sense," Newt said to himself.</p><p>"He helped me know who I am," Adam said slowly. The occultist and former-witchfinder winced before looking at one another. Adam ignored their guilty glances.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a blip. A moment where Adam tried out an idea. A moment where he decided what was Good and what was Evil. Crowley wouldn't be any Good as a human, but he could be an angel.  Wasn't he just the same as Aziraphale? Aziraphale had gotten his body back. Why couldn't Crowley be forgiven? Crowley wasn't any more Evil than Adam had ever been.</p><p>Adam was at Anathema's cottage, where she had extended her time. She had more magazines for him to read, more ideas to pour into him. They were eating chocolate and talking about other ways to change the world. </p><p>"Who forgives demons?" Adam asked.</p><p>"Demons aren't…" Anathema said, stopping herself from telling the (former?) Antichrist that demons weren't real. It was difficult to say with the auras she'd seen on the man-shaped creatures that were negative space, that burned, that didn't fit what she knew of humans. </p><p>"One of the ones that was an angel," Adam clarified. "Like, he doesn't have the halo any more, but he's still got the wings."</p><p>"Have you seen the wings?" Newt asked as he reached for some more candy. Adam nodded. "God," Newt said through a mouthful of chocolate. He swallowed and tried to recover from his mild blasphemy. "Traditionally speaking, if someone or something needs to be forgiven, then it has to be God. Or His agents."</p><p>"It would have to be direct for a demon, wouldn't it?"</p><p>"Probably," Anathema said.</p><p>"Self sacrifice is generally a good start," Newt said. "That'd get God's attention."</p><p>"So, if the fallen angel was doing Good things, then it'd show he was ready to be an angel again?"</p><p>"I don't know," Anathema said, a little desperately. "Agnes didn't say a whole lot about demons. Their auras are blurry. Same for angels." Crowley's aura had burned her eyes just to look at. </p><p>"Mr. Crowley does good things. He gave you your book back." Adam wanted to give Anathema a personal example. She had seen him try to save the World, but in Adams mind, the book would be more important. </p><p>"He also ran me over with his car," Anathema said. If they were focusing on the personal, she was ready to be petty. Newt gave her a shocked look, not knowing the full extent of her Tadfield experiences leading up to the End of The World. It hadn't seemed necessary to talk about. </p><p>"The man in the dark glasses was a demon? Well, that makes sense when I say it out loud," Newt said to himself. </p><p>"He helped me know who I am," Adam said slowly. The occultist and former-witchfinder winced before looking at one another. Adam ignored their guilty glances. "I can do that for him. He's confused. He doesn't have to be. I can't just change it any more, but we have to be able to do something. He's a grownup, but he's my friend." He smiled sunnily at them. "Like you two."</p><p>Anathema pressed her lips together. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine," she said with a sad smile.  Tears came to her eyes. "I want to help you, Adam. My whole life has been built to end up helping you." She got up to pace.</p><p>"What do you need?" Newt asked.</p><p>"The angel Raphael," Adam said decisively.  </p><p>"He'll help redeem Mr. Crowley?" Newt asked.  Anathema was only half-listening.</p><p>"No. Well...yes. Possibly. I have Mr. Crowley's phone number. Two of them. He wanted to be sure I knew how to get a hold of him or Aziraphale if anything happened. If I had any questions."</p><p>"Mr. Fell?" Anathema said, looping back to them. She'd seen his aura of pure light. "He's already an angel, isn't he? With wings and a halo?"</p><p>"Does blond hair count as a halo?" Newt asked.</p><p>"He had wings and that sword that my friends used," Adam said.  It was proof enough for him, so it was to be enough for Anathema and Newt. "He'll help Mr. Crowley."</p><p>"So, angels on our side are Mr. Fell and Raphael?"</p><p>"I don't know if Raphael is on our side yet. Aziraphale will be. Can you go talk to them? In London? Aziraphale has a bookshop."</p><p>"I'll go," Newt said.  </p><p>"We can go," Anathema told Adam.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. wait for them to ask you who you know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I try not to think about the Fallen as they were. Raphael was as good as they were beautiful. They was so high and they fell so far. They were nice," Aziraphale said with a sigh. "You don't know how rare that was amongst the archangels. I miss them, miss them just being themself."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting to London, finding the bookshop, none of that seemed hard.  It didn't seem quite worth it when they got there and the shop was closed.  Anathema carefully studied the listed hours for the bookshop. They were posted to the door.</p><p>"Should we go?" Newt asked.</p><p>Anathema opened the door. "Apparently we have perfect timing."</p><p>Aziraphale gave them a smile that meant that they could leave at any moment and his feelings wouldn't be hurt. "Oh, hello," he said, defrosting his icy corners. His aura shone brightly with such a pure light so that it burned at Anathema. He was too relaxed. "How are you two?"</p><p>"Confused," Newt said.  He looked around, peering past the books. "There aren't any...computers here, are there?" Demons held no special terror for him. The idea of short-circuiting any of Aziraphale's operation did.  He didn't want to do anything to even inconvenience the nice man.</p><p>"No," Aziraphale said, vaguely insulted.</p><p>"We're not here to buy any books," Anathema said. She had no idea how reassuring that statement was. </p><p>"What <em>do</em> you want, my dears?"</p><p>"Adam sent us," Anathema said. "I'm supposed to find and help the angel Raphael."</p><p>Aziraphale frowned. "No such angel here. In fact, to my knowledge there is no current angel Raphael. It's been a rotation since the war."</p><p>"Which war?" Newt asked.</p><p>"There's only ever been one war for the angels. The civil war. No redemption. I supposed there was no losing side, depending on your point of view, but a point of no return was...exploded. If you thought that display at the airfield was bad, imagine it a million times more. "</p><p>"Who was Raphael then?" Anathema asked. </p><p>"I try not to think about the Fallen as they were. Raphael was as good as they were beautiful. They were so high and they fell so far. They were nice," Aziraphale said with a sigh. "You don't know how rare that was amongst the archangels. I miss them, miss them just being themself."</p><p>"Where is Mr. Crowley?"</p><p>It wasn't a proper summons, but close enough to one. Crowley showed his true face.  Newt crumpled. Anathema didn't scream. Her jaw dropped as she tried to contextualize it.</p><p>Aziraphale led him away where he could sit quietly and recover. "That wasn't necessary," he scolded.</p><p>Crowley poked at Anathema's shoulder with one finger. His current sunglasses didn't allow for effortlessly sliding down his nose so he could fix her with his snake eyes.  The glasses did it anyway. </p><p>"What was that? What happened to Newt?"</p><p>"He saw me.  Really saw me. You did, too." </p><p>"Oh my God," Anathema said. </p><p>"Yours and his, for my sins. Not mine, not any more. Why aren't you scared?"</p><p>"You're not scary."</p><p>"I could kill you.  I could torture you. I could do all of that and more to your sweet little boyfriend, wearing your own sweet little face."</p><p>"Mr. Fell wouldn't like that very much," Anathema said with a nasty smile of her own. Crowley froze, and her smile turned into something more pleasant. "You wouldn't want him to be really upset," she said softly.</p><p>"Go away, book girl," Crowley said. He glared as much as he could without just taking off his sunglasses. "Go back to America. Go find angels there to harass."</p><p>"I was sent here by… Adam. Whatever he is now. We're supposed to help you be a real angel again, with the angel Raphael."</p><p>Crowley's harsh laugh startled her in the way his true face didn't. "Raphael isn't going to help me. When your boyfriend wakes up, you should both go."</p><p>"What if we don't?"</p><p>"Then Aziraphale will probably invite you both to some charming little cafe that he knows because they have some charming little ingredient from America that you'll have never had before and won't it just be so lovely to share that experience with two young lovers?" Crowley paused to breathe, and sighed.  His usual slouch deepened.</p><p>"That's not much of a threat," Anathema said.</p><p>"Call it a prophecy. I know you like those."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>they/them for Raphael</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. please don't make any sudden moves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Newt recovered, Crowley's prophecy came to pass. Aziraphale swept them all up for an early lunch, gleefully closing up the shop. The food was exquisite, even if Aziraphale was the only one with an appetite. There wasn't anything new there. Crowley slouched forward, watching Aziraphale eat and smiling at every little sound of satisfaction that Aziraphale made.</p><p>"You've been here before, angel," Crowley said. "Surely you could try a bit more of the menu this time."</p><p>Anathema and Newt did not meet one another's eyes.</p><p>"Really, Crowley. Trying to tempt an angel in front of these nice... occultists. What they must think of you?"</p><p>"What they must think of us," Crowley gently corrected.</p><p>Newt looked from one to the other, and determined that he could say anything at all because they hardly knew that he was there. He turned his head and dropped his voice nevertheless. "Are they..." he whispered softly.  </p><p>"Gay?" Anathema said quietly. She had barely been in this country, didn't really know Newt all that well. A middle-aged homosexual couple could be shocking enough. </p><p>"I have eyes," Newt said, annoyed that she thought he could have missed it.  Anathema smiled, relieved. He looked at the two again.  "Can you see anything?"</p><p>"There aren't actually hearts swarming around their heads, if that's what you mean?"</p><p>Newt laughed. Crowley didn't take his eyes off of Aziraphale, and Aziraphale didn't take his eyes off his plate. "Is it... does Mr. Fell, even?"</p><p>"It's mutual, as far as I can tell." Anathema had nothing supernatural to back that up, she just wanted it to be true.  </p><p>"I was going to ask, actually, about their auras. Are they intermingled or striped or bonded or...?"</p><p>"Rainbow?" Crowley suggested, in his own soft tones.</p><p>Newt nodded to him, gratefully.  "Exactly.  Is there anything to indicate the effect on one on the other?"</p><p>"Has the Good Deed already been done?" Crowley said.</p><p>Newt nodded again, before realizing that Crowley was not just hearing his every word but following along with deep concentration. "Yes, that's basically my question."</p><p>Aziraphale delicately dabbed at his mouth with the napkin. "Our auras remains our own. No striping or blurring."</p><p>"Or rainbows," Crowley said.</p><p>"Oh, God," Newt said. </p><p>Anathema smiled at Crowley. "Thank you for indulging our curiosity."</p><p>"I'm good at indulging, isn't that right, angel?"</p><p>"You encourage others to indulge."</p><p>"As long as you're happy, angel."</p><p>"Is it mutual?" Newt asked suddenly. "If it isn't returned, would that be redemptive?"</p><p>The other three stared at him. Anathema was shaking her head, as if she could take his words back for him. She couldn't see Crowley's eyes, but his mouth was frowning. "Do snakes cry?" She mouthed to Newt. He was busy trying to dissolve. "We should go."</p><p>The bill was settled and the four of them walked out. Nothing was said. Anathema and Newt prepared to slink away. The angel and demon blocked their way. "I'm sorry," Newt said. "I didn't mean to judge your... relationship."</p><p>Aziraphale was staring at Anathema. "Do you think this, too?"</p><p>"Maybe it would be better that way," she said. "You two seem very sweet, but if... what if that's what Raphael is for? Not a love triangle or anything that sordid, but a deeper experience?"</p><p>"Is that all you think that Raphael could be?" Aziraphale said. "Just to be placed on a pedestal and pined after? How can you even see with your sorcerer's vision if it's that clouded?"</p><p>"What could Raphael be?" Crowley asked, ignoring the humans.</p><p>"I think the goal would be for them to be just a tenth of what you are," Aziraphale said. He reached for Crowley's hand. "You're already more of an angel than so many of them up there."</p><p>A bolt of lightning came down from the Heavens, striking Crowley just as fire shot up from below through the pavement to his snakeskin shoes. Aziraphale didn't let go of his hand, held tighter.  Newt jumped back, arms up to cover his face. Anathema turned her head but still tried to watch what happened. </p><p>While the smoke cleared, Aziraphale was pushed away.  The figure within the smoke was standing straight. They had the slight build as Crowley, similar clothes if lighter in color. Their hair was blond instead of fiery red. Their eyes glowed golden, coordinating with their aura.</p><p>"Raphael," Aziraphale said, with six thousand years of heartbreak behind it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. you don't know the half of the abuse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Raphael stopped beneath an apple tree. They ran their fingertips across the fruit. "Do you remember..." They were proud and relieved that their voice broke with their heart there.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Thank you for an exciting lunch," Raphael said and snapped their fingers. The four of them were in Anathema's cottage. As an archangel, they had a bit more behind their miracles. The others would forget soon enough, as reality smoothed itself to erase the demon Crowley altogether. When and if Aziraphale forgot, then Raphael's heart would break hard enough that they would Fall all over again. They couldn't have any witnesses to that.</p><p>The angel and archangel stepped out into Tadfield. Newt and Anathema needed some time to recover. The angelic creations ambled in the general direction of the former Antichrist. They couldn't sense Adam, but they could sense those who he loved.  The part of Raphael that was still Crowley wanted to ask the child what the hell he was playing at.  That part was shrinking.  By the time they found the boy, he would probably just bless him for this second chance if he even knew that it was one.</p><p>Raphael had helped make the stars. "Alpha Centauri," they said to Aziraphale.</p><p>"Some of your finest work," Aziraphale said. He was awestruck in a way that Raphael couldn't quite read.</p><p>"Can we go?" Raphael said. Their voice didn't break the way that Crowley's would have. Their head and heart were fighting.</p><p>"If you like," Aziraphale said, his voice placid and still. There was no desperate longing or fear behind it. </p><p>No archangels appeared before them. Raphael didn't think any demons would dare face an archangel.  Gabriel and the rest shouldn't have any concerns, though. Reality was smoothly absorbing him, erasing the past.  All of Crowley's misdeeds were quietly being undone somewhere.</p><p>Raphael stopped beneath an apple tree. They ran their fingertips across the fruit. "Do you remember..." They were proud and relieved that their voice broke with their heart there. They couldn't go on with their questions, couldn't ask Aziraphale about Eden. They were too afraid.</p><p>Aziraphale reached up and took an apple of his own. He regarded it carefully before taking a bite. It was the most obscene thing that Raphael had ever seen. "It was the first rain and I shielded you with my wing," Aziraphale said. "Is that what you were thinking of?"</p><p>"You were supposed to kill me with that sword."</p><p>Aziraphale stared at Raphael. "I could never."</p><p>"Couldn't strike down an archangel?" As long as Raphael was still able to manage some nastiness, as long as the lash of Crowley's forked tongue stayed with them, then they were some kind of safe.</p><p>Aziraphale was shaking his head.  "I knew that you'd been Raphael, of course. I didn't care. Caring about who the Fallen had been was too much like asking questions. I would have been siding with the Enemy."</p><p>"Then why did you bother?" Raphael said bitterly. </p><p>"You weren't Raphael. I told myself, you were someone else. You were Crawly. But you were still asking the same questions. You still cared. And I still loved you, even more. An archangel could never have returned my love, not in this specific way, but there were no limitations for a demon."</p><p>"I only ever wanted answers. Then I got the answers, and I only wanted you."</p><p>"You never got all the answers," Aziraphale chided. He continued to eat the apple. "You've never run out of questions. You never would have lasted as an archangel."</p><p>"I love you too," Raphael said sarcastically. They also meant it sincerely as both generalized and personalized statement. It was the most honest and emotionally complex sentiment that they could express with the language that they were using. </p><p>"Running away to Alpha Centauri won't make anything better."</p><p>"You never like this plan. The fabric of reality has been rewoven, and you still won't."</p><p>"I'll do whatever you like."</p><p>Raphael shook their head. "It doesn't have to be this way."</p><p>"This is what you wanted.  I knew Crowley for six thousand years," Aziraphale said. "I fell in and out of love more times than I can count. I'll stay by your side as long as I can remember to. Then I'll just put you up on the pedestal and love you from afar. And if you remember me, if you remember how many times you fell in love with me, then you'll come down or pull me up to your pedestal."</p><p>"Our love was meant to be?" Raphael asked with a laugh.</p><p>Aziraphale shrugged. His apple was nearly gone.</p><p>"Must be," Raphael decided.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Edit: they/them pronouns for Raphael</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. welcome to the room of people</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam was out in the woods, playing with his dog and waiting for the newly-restored angel to come talk to him. He didn't know if Raphael was going to be happy or sad about what had happened.  He didn't know how he'd feel. Being an angel seemed pretty boring. Mr. Crowley had been a boring kind of demon, but some of the stuff that he did seemed kind of fun.  Things were going away that he had thought of, even things that Adam liked. He didn't know how to put those back without putting Mr. Crowley back too. Adam didn't think it was up to him any more, if it ever had been. He was just going to have to look after himself and his friends. </p><p>Mr. Fell came through the woods. There was someone with him, wearing sunglasses that weren't entirely justified by the light. To the human eye, Raphael and Anthony J. Crowley were close enough to be siblings, or possibly one man going into witness protection. The human eye was all that Adam had.  </p><p>"Mr. Crowley?" Adam said. </p><p>"In a manner of speaking," Aziraphale said.  Raphael kept walking towards Adam. Aziraphale stayed back. Dog didn't so much as bark.</p><p>Raphael liked Adam, liked the boy as much as he liked the idea of the Antichrist being peacefully neutralized. Raphael didn't like killing kids; they didn't like the idea of killing anyone, which was harder than it should have been for an archangel.</p><p>"What have you done?" Raphael asked.</p><p>"Prayed," Adam said.</p><p>Raphael's jaw didn't drop, but Aziraphale's did. Raphael knew that Adam wasn't lying. The boy was clever enough to know that lying to a newly redeemed angel was pointless.  They were two peas in a pod, questioning and defiant.</p><p>"She must be listening to you," Aziraphale said reverently. </p><p>And no one else, Raphael added silently.  Adam was just a boy, not Lucifer's child any longer.  He was one of God's own.  His prayers shouldn't have had any extra weight. He shouldn't get an answer if none of the rest of humanity was going unheard. Raphael looked towards Aziraphale, who gave a little shrug.</p><p>"Why would you pray for Mr. Crowley?" Aziraphale asked.</p><p>"Good people deserve to be rewarded."</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. "Or at least forgiven."</p><p>"Exactly," Adam said, relieved. "You said I'm..."</p><p>"Human Incarnate," Aziraphale supplied.</p><p>"That's right," Raphael said. "And you're just a regular human. Now you'll be the first to have your very own guardian archangel."</p><p>"What's that mean?" Adam asked.</p><p>Raphael smiled. "I will personally ensure that no one harms you." They placed a hand on Adam's shoulder. They didn't know how a proper blessing was supposed to go, how to envelope the child with all the protective power available to them. The thought of asking Aziraphale crossed what passed for the archangel's mind, but the possibility for a decade-long conversation loomed there. Raphael the archangel had just as much imagination as Crowley the demon; they could come up with their own blessing. A golden bubble surrounded the boy.  </p><p>When they let go, lightning struck and set fire to the ground around Raphael. Adam was safe, outside the circle of flames, in the golden bubble that Raphael had made for him. Aziraphale and Dog were far enough away to be naturally safe.</p><p>The flames died down. Raphael was kneeling, staring up at the sky.  Raphael's clothes were a little singed, a little bit on fire. They patted out the flames before pulling a new pair of sunglasses out of an inner coat pocket. "Like that. Imagine if you didn't have a guardian angel trying to protect you." They stood.</p><p>"Then I wouldn't..."</p><p>"Crowley?" Aziraphale asked softly.</p><p>"Still Raphael, angel." Raphael couldn't bear to look at Aziraphale. They smiled at Adam instead. "More angels will be coming. You're under my protection tell them so. Tell any strangers that might understand."</p><p>Raphael and Aziraphale left the boy and his dog there in the woods, a charred circle marking where Raphael had been. If they moved quickly enough, then whatever occult or ethereal forces were coming to examine the ashes would not find Adam or the two angels.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. But after all I've said, please don't forget</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raphael and Aziraphale intercepted Anathema and Newt at her cottage. Anathema had sensed the disturbance. Raphael talked the potentially former witchfinder into taking Aziraphale back to London. Raphael wasn't leaving the witch's cottage in Tadfield until they personally had things figured out.  Aziraphale was not going to get stuck in the literal crossfire. Aziraphale wanted to argue with his friend, but was constitutionally incapable of arguing with an archangel to their face. </p><p>Raphael wanted to talk to Anathema. Their memories of being Crowley were peeling away. They knew that Adam was to be protected. They knew that Aziraphale was important, was part of their side; the two of them were the only side that mattered. Things were blurring beyond that.  Six thousand years of enjoying being clever and bad on Earth were being overwritten by six thousand years of celestial bliss. Crowley would have hated the idea of celestial bliss, of no flat and no clever works. Raphael hadn't much to do on Earth, because Aziraphale was there doing the footwork.  Raphael didn't know if Aziraphale had an Arrangement with some other demon; the tiny spark of jealousy that this thought shot through them belonged to Crowley.  </p><p>No demons would have thought of entangling themself with Aziraphale.  They would have been struck down by the archangel Raphael, apparently.  Raphael had a soft spot for Aziraphale, if only a hazy understanding how Aziraphale had failed to properly guard Eden. They had not spent much time together since the Creation of the world as Raphael rarely made it down there, but they tried to talk to the angel once a millennium or so. They took Aziraphale out to the stars. If Raphael had spent more time around the humans, there would be more elements to the way they felt about Aziraphale. As it was, it was merely an intensified and focused version of their love for all things.</p><p>Raphael had favorites.  Anathema was hereafter their favorite witch.  Blessing Adam hadn't worked out well, but she was different.  It wasn't a complete visitation of divine ecstasy. It was more like an archangel complimenting terrible tea while sitting in her overcast garden.</p><p>"I need your help," Raphael said. "Unless you had a different life's work to embark on?"  </p><p>"Angels aren't really my forte," Anathema said.</p><p>"What an exciting new opportunity before you," Raphael smiled. Angels shouldn't be able to smile as threateningly.  "The first thing for you to learn is that Fallen or not, only one angel has any kind of imagination and creativity."</p><p>"Not Mr. Fell?"</p><p>"Not dear Mr. Fell." Raphael smiled fondly.  Fire came up from the ground, and knocked them down to their knees.  They held one hand up towards Anathema, pointlessly gesturing for her to stand back.  </p><p>"What's happening?" she called. Witches normally didn't have to ask that sort of thing. She was supposed to know the phenomena happening in front of her.  </p><p>"I'm supposed to be being redeemed," Raphael shouted.  "Apparently there is an archangel having doubts who Hell is trying to reclaim. Or claim." </p><p>Lightning struck the circle of flames.</p><p>"That's enough, guys!" Raphael screamed.</p><p>Anathema stood.  "What should I be doing?"</p><p>"Anything you have to ward off...anything.  All protections. Anything you have. Grab it, now. Someone's coming."</p><p>"I don't feel anything...angry…"</p><p>"Go," Raphael said, pleading and directing her.  She was inside before Gabriel materialized. </p><p>Two angels, one of lavender and one of gold, stood eye to eye.  "Raphael," Gabriel said, as warmly as they were ever able to muster.  "What brings you down to Earth?"</p><p>"I was just planning to return," Raphael lied.  It felt strange to lie as an angel.</p><p>"There's been some odd activity in this area," Gabriel said.  Behind him, Raphael could see Anathema peeking out the window. </p><p>"I've noticed," Raphael said. "That's part of what delayed me."</p><p>"I think it was partially that Aziraphale.  I know that he's your favorite, but enough's enough.  He needs to stay on task."</p><p>"This task… have we seen any specific demons thwarting his good deeds?"</p><p>Gabriel shrugged. "You keep a much closer eye on him than I do.  He's never done anything that would attract anyone's attention. Maybe a little too human at times."</p><p>Raphael straightened their lapel. "So can we all."</p><p>"So, why has Hell been targeting you?"</p><p>"I'm too tempting not to," Raphael said. Gabriel laughed. If Crowley had still been there, he would have snarled. He felt things differently than Raphael did; they were separate entities who shared a potential future and a definitive past. Just the whisper of that idea was all that remained in Raphael.</p><p>The two archangels were gone from the garden.  The witch remained inside her cottage, unsure of where to begin her new research into how to make an angel Fall.  She didn't know if that was what Raphael wanted, but it didn't seem that Crowley had wanted to be redeemed.  And she had the sneaking suspicion that she would soon be the only soul who remembered any of it at all.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. why'd you come, you knew you should have stayed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Raphael and Gabriel stood in Heaven's light, smiling insincerely.  "I have some questions," Raphael confessed.</p><p>"I do too," Gabriel said.</p><p>"If you don't mind, I'll go first."  Raphael started to pace, circling around Gabriel.  "Am I the only one have trouble remembering recent events?"</p><p>"I've been having some duplicated memories," Gabriel allowed. "Things as they should have been, and things as they are."  </p><p>"That's just what I mean. What happened to the Antichrist? Are we proceeding with Armageddon? Have any particular humans been singled out? Why was I struck by lightning and hellfire simultaneously when I was just checking in with that witch? Can we discuss the actual personnel on both sides who were involved here? What about at the Garden of Eden? What is the known plan?  I mean, yes, we can't know the entirety of the ineffable plan, but what do we know, what are we working on?  Why can't I remember any of this? I have these images of a Bentley on fire stuck in my head, is there such a vehicle and is it alright?"</p><p>Raphael was managing not to ask where Aziraphale was, what his assignments were, and if he could instead be slated to be Raphael's assistant or minion or some such thing. They wanted to have an excuse to have Aziraphale around, just as Crowley had made for himself. </p><p>"This is not like you, Raphael," Gabriel said. He didn't sound certain about it.  Raphael knew all about Gabriel, his smug self-assured smiles.  </p><p>"Why not?" Raphael asked.  "This is me, isn't it?"</p><p>"You're asking too many questions," Gabriel said. "That's always been dangerous. Reflection on recent events is good.  Over-examination is not."</p><p>"We're so lucky to have you as the arbiter of good and evil," Raphael said.</p><p>Gabriel stared.</p><p>"What was your question?" Raphael asked.  "I have lots more, you should get a turn in."</p><p>"Who are you and what are you doing?" Gabriel said calmly.</p><p>"Don't you know?" Raphael said, thrown off balance.  </p><p>"Do you? I remember Raphael falling. I remember them miraculously being saved by the traitor Aziraphale. I remember the Serpent in the Garden, again with the traitor Aziraphale. I remember a demon with dark glasses who was trying to corrupt the traitor Aziraphale.  Except Aziraphale isn't a traitor any more.  What I don't remember is the moment when you didn't fall, when didn't ask all of these questions, when you didn't try and try to reject Heaven."</p><p>"So what if all of that is true, but I'm redeemed now? Raphael is returning." Raphael looked around.  All the light of Heaven was blinding to them, all the space was suffocating.</p><p>"Of all of her creation, angels don't get second chances. Humans do, because we can't trust them to know their own minds."</p><p>"So what's this, then?" Raphael said.  "What am I?  Who am I?"</p><p>"I can't question the Divine Plan. Understanding it isn't essential to acceptance."</p><p>Raphael squinted, trying to adapt that point of view. "Yeah, no, I'm just going to ask as many questions as I possibly can."</p><p>Gabriel gave a big, toothy smile. "Then the natural consequences will proceed as they should." </p><p>"You want me to Fall," Raphael said.</p><p>"Don't you want to?  Wouldn't it be perfect for everything to go back to what was the natural order?"</p><p>"You really shouldn't go into the temptation business.  You might Fall before me."</p><p>"You know, I'm just certain that there will be a book somewhere in Aziraphale's shop that will answer all of your questions. I know you hate London and Aziraphale can be irritating as always, but it might help you stop asking me annoying questions.  So go."</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I tried to warn you just to stay away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The confusion in Aziraphale's voice, the lost light in his eyes, made Raphael's trembling lips open.  Raphael's heart plummeted down to hell, trying to wrench their soul with it.</p>
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    <p>Returning to Earth, Raphael could feel Adam's influence. The boy was trying to shield him, trying to keep Mr. Crowley safe in his own way. Crowley was gone, Crowley had never been. Crowley's influence had been scrubbed from the face of the earth.</p><p>Raphael manifested outside the bookshop of that nice Mr. Fell. The shop was closed.  The doors opened in the presence of an impatient archangel nevertheless.</p><p>"I'm sorry, we're," Aziraphale started to say, walking towards the interloper. "Closed." Aziraphale smiled. There was a familiar light in his eyes.  "Raphael, I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Not at all, I was wondering if I could look at some of your religious texts," Raphael said. "Gabriel said you might be able to help me."</p><p>Aziraphale smiled fondly and welcomed Raphael into the shop. "What exactly are you looking for?"</p><p>"Fallen angels," Raphael said, too reverentially.  </p><p>Aziraphale frowned.  "What about them?" The confusion in his voice, the lost light in his eyes, made Raphael's trembling lips open.  </p><p>"Crowley," Raphael said.  They didn't like the feel of the name on their tongue. "I need information on him."</p><p>"Crawly, the Serpent?" Aziraphale corrected them without drawing attention to it.  "Yes. I appear to have quite the collection for some reason or another." He turned to inspect his books.  </p><p>Raphael followed, lightly tracing the shelves with their fingertips.  "I love you," they said, because they hadn't said it yet. </p><p>This didn't get so much as a glance their way.  "I know, my dear." Aziraphale cleared his throat. "My... your... Raphael," he settled on. "You love everyone and everything. All of us angels do."</p><p>Raphael's heart plummeted down to hell, trying to wrench their soul with it. "That's not the kind of love that I meant.  I loved you. I loved what we had before whatever this is."</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. "This is where you ask me to run off to Alpha Centauri."</p><p>"It might be," Raphael said. "I happen to be proud of my work.  Is that such a sin?"</p><p>"You should know." Aziraphale smirked. "We should be content with what we have and accept it gracefully."</p><p>"Am I graceful?" Raphael asked, staring at their hand on the bookshelf.</p><p>"You are full of Her Grace," Aziraphale said, trying to dilute the sentiment.</p><p>"What if I wasn't? What if I hadn't been? What if I had Fallen with Lucifer? Would the world be better off? Would you, would I?"</p><p>The look on Aziraphale's face stabbed at Raphael. "Is that what you're looking for in these books?"</p><p>"Something like that," Raphael said. "I was going to ask for a glass of wine as well."</p><p>"I'll set out a bottle," Aziraphale said. He had a few books in hand.  Raphael followed him. </p><p>"To Knowledge," Raphael said as their toast.  Aziraphale reluctantly joined him.</p><p>They drank in silence.</p><p>"I'm looking for a way back. I've been through the hard part.  Falling hurt.  But once it was over, and I got used to not being holier than everyone around me... I liked my life."</p><p>Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "None of that was real."</p><p>"I can't stay on Earth like this," Raphael said. They won't let me. And I cannot take an Eternity in Heaven."</p><p>"Alpha Centauri, then?" Aziraphale said.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. it looks like you might be one of us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The archangel Raphael went to Alpha Centauri and never came back</p>
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    <p>The archangel Raphael went to Alpha Centauri and never came back. A decision had to be made. It wasn't the first time that Heaven and Hell had battled for a single, symbolic soul. It was just the first time that the object could run so thoroughly away.</p><p>Aziraphale was not invited this time. Raphael wanted to be left alone.  They knew that Aziraphale wouldn't like what they were going to do.  Aziraphale would accuse Raphael of sulking and of being overly dramatic.</p><p>Raphael was one of a few fallen archangels, and the only one who had been redeemed. They had earned the right to be dramatic if anyone had. Raphael was able to leave Aziraphale behind, Crowley never could have.  Aziraphale couldn't witness what Raphael was trying to do.  It would have broken his heart.</p><p>Raphael was trying to provoke Heaven and Hell, but primarily Heaven. They screamed to the Heavens. No one responded. No one cared about Alpha Centauri.  No one cared about Raphael.  No one cared.  They screamed obscenities, they demanded answers, they cried out until their mind and throat were hoarse. They were far away from the Earth, but no further from Her eye than they had ever been.  They had always been within the grasp of the Almighty.  They hadn't liked that since before the cosmos were created. </p><p>Eventually, it worked. Eventually, Raphael tumbled through the stars and narrowly avoided pure oblivion. For the second time, Raphael experienced Falling.  It was much harsher the second time around, brought on in part by their deliberate decision. Hell had been trying to reclaim them, with hellfire and brimstone bubbling around them. Now that they had damned themself, Hell wasn't half as interested. Hell hadn't wanted Raphael, they had wanted Heaven not to have taken one of their own. They'd have destroyed Crowley in a (stolen) heartbeat.</p><p>He was Crowley again. Raphael's golden beauty had burnt down to the charred creature that Crowley had always been. They were different entities, connected by nothing more than a stream of consciousness. Crowley landed in Hell. He smiled and made his way out: a bat had nothing in this snake.  He needed to be somewhere else before Lucifer knew he was there. Crowley was the only demon who had made it to heaven and back (twice, once disguised as Aziraphale) so Crowley was simultaneously damned and blessed.  He could have the Earth if he wanted, he just need to stay out of Hell. </p><p>Heaven didn't want him, had never wanted Crowley. He wasn't an unusual type of abomination, wasn't a blaspheming but unFallen angel.  He was just a demon like untold others.  Heaven didn't bother striking all of those down.</p><p>After checking on his flat and his plants, Crowley drove the Bentley -- another damned and blessed piece of creation -- from London to Tadfield.</p><p>Adam was at the cottage Anathema was still renting. They seemed to be waiting for him. They met him outside, undoubtedly waiting for flashes of lightning and bubbling fires.</p><p>"Oh, it's you," Anathema said. She was frowning. "I thought it would be..."</p><p>"Raphael ran away," Crowley said. "I'm all that's left."</p><p>Anathema invited him in to join them for tea. Adam's friends and Newt weren't around, weren't there to interrupt or ask any questions.  Anathema herself didn't say anything, just peered sadly at Crowley from behind her glasses.</p><p>"It didn't happen," Adam said. "I asked Anathema if fallen angels can be forgiven and she didn't know and then it was now." Adam was making folds and cuts in the fabric of reality, carefully isolating the idea of Raphael and putting them away.</p><p>"Will anyone remember?" Crowley asked. </p><p>"Me and you and her," Adam said, nodding towards Anathema  </p><p>"I blessed you," Crowley said. "Is that gone too? I know you don't need it, you're you, but can that stay?"</p><p>Adam shook his head sadly. </p><p>"I'm still going to be your guardian angel," Crowley said determinedly.  "God... Sate... Someone know that you don't need it, but I want you to have it nevertheless. You were supposed to have Aziraphale and I as your godfathers."</p><p>"Mr. Fell was supposed to have a lot of roles," Anathema said.</p><p>"We make our own destinies. Choose our own faces." Crowley sipped his tea. "I've chosen mine."</p>
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